June 21, 2015 is Father's Day. Being a father myself (and a typical Asian), it is not often celebrated as I would say the best celebration would always that the kids remain healthy and obedient to the parents. I believe fathers are often underrated, they aren't as involved as the mother. Being traditional in both thinking and action, fathers are often seen as the breadwinner in the family. This also meant they do spend most of their time away from home. Growing up, my father leaves for work at 6.30am and only come back past 7pm. He works on weekend to earn that extra money so me and my sisters could live a bit more comfortably. He is always my first hero and I will always remember how he held my hand and the gentle firm squeeze he gives as we cross the road - assuring and warmth! Thank you Pa, for the sacrifices you gave, often ignoring your own want and needs.
For this Father's Day, Dolce&Gabbana shared with me (via their PR) two sets of interview questions by two very well known actor that are the brand ambassador. Colin Farrell is the face for Dolce&Gabbana INTENSO and Matthew McConaughey, the face for Dolce&Gabbana The One for Men. Both of them are father, and here are their take on being father.
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Colin Farrell – Father’s Day Q&A
What is the most important thing in your life?
The most important things in my life are friends and family and not of course
necessarily in that order. Family is kind of everything you know –it is such a complex idea, such a complex concept. And yet there is something
so simple that can be derived from spending time with your family that’s just
incredibly life affirming and rewarding. Family means a lot to me.
What are your preferred moments with your children?
All of them, there is no unpreferred moments with my boys. I find, that with
being a parent, being a dad you just wish you had a greater understanding,
comprehension of how to do it right, how to steer them in the right direction,
how to love kindly but not smotheringly, how to discipline with compassion and yet strength and honesty and fairness.My days usually start and finish with eachof my boys which is a pretty majestic way to live.
Has becoming a father changed your life?
Yes, becoming a father has changed my life for sure. I mean I wouldn’t know
how becoming a dad has changed my life; I wouldn’t really know how to
quantify it. There is an enormous relief in finally having some very physical and very tangible understanding of how you are no longer the centre of your own universe. That you are not the sun anymore, you become a moon that revolves around the lives of your children and they become the sun. So that is kind of self-servingly one of the most beautiful things about being a dad.
Do you celebrate Father’s Day?
This year I was very aware of Father’s Day because there was texts coming
through and I actually bought into it, it was really sweet. I don’t know if I
maybe feel more comfort in being a dad or what it was, but this year a lot of
my friends were texting Happy Father’s Day and I was texting them back and
then texting other friends of mine who have kids Happy Father’s Day and it
felt like I was part of a club that is not the worst club in the world.
What do you like about being a father?
It is an extension on the idea of family - in one hand it is incredibly complicated I find to be a father. I haven’t read any books but I know that if I did they would just confound me even more, that
there is no direct science to it, that like art and like life it is an exercise, the
most extreme exercise in trial and error because the consequences are so great.For the first time in your life you are not the most important thing in your world.For the first time in your life you know you really have an understanding of whatit is to love unconditionally and it is a pretty extraordinary gift.
What are your intimate moments?
My intimate moments are moments shared with family and friends. I have deep friendships and very deep connections with those family members I have in my
life, particularly my two sons and my sisters and my brother and both my
parents are still alive. The simple things; we hike a lot –I get out in nature a lot. I do love the city but I like to vacillate between heavily populated areas and as I said the kinesis and the chaos and the noise and the
energy of the city and then into the silence and the tranquillity of just your own solitude in nature.
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Father’s Day Q&A Matthew McConaughey
What would be your perfect Father’s Day present?
My perfect Farther’s Day present is what we’ve done the last couple of times.
The kids and my wife all come in and bring me breakfast in bed, we hang out,
and then they bring their breakfast, and we eat so we don’t get out of bed,
usually, until 10.30. Get up kind of late, even 11am. Then we usually do
something with the family around the house.
Usually we’ll just go eat outside, and take the top off the hot tub, put on some music, and then I’ll manage stuff for lunch, then we’ll spend the whole day just outside, all playing around together. Until we get to the evening, and then we
usually cook again. In the evening, open up a bottle of wine.
And we spend the day together.
What’s the best thing about being a father?
Father was the only thing in my life that I ever knew I wanted to be. When I
was eight years old, I knew I wanted to be a father. I thought I maybe wanted to be a Washington Redskin running back, but I grew out of that. I always
know I wanted to be a father. For me, it’s always been the ultimate
responsibility. The beginning of the ultimate shadow a man can leave in his life - his children.
What is the most important thing to your father thought you?
A few things. Take responsibility for yourself. Self-reliance. Don’t say can’t. And don’t lie. Now, it’s okay to bullshit, but don’t lie.
What every day things remind you of your father?
I’ve got a great picture of him, right when you come in the house, of him
dancing in his underwear. He loved to dance.
And that’s always a fun reminder. The kids know exactly who he is, and
understand he’s no longer physically here, but he’s papa. He was Captain Fun.
He loved being the host. He loved to cook, and have a beer, and dance, and
socialise. He also was a sticker for ‘if you start work at 8am, and you work till
6pm, that doesn’t mean you show up at 8 am. That means you’re on the phone working at 8am. So if you show up at 8 and you’re on the phone at 8.02am,
you’re two minutes late. He was very strict about that. And so he instilled a
very good work ethic in us.
What is the most important thing you want your kids to remember?
The one thing that our kids know, that they’re always going to know, is that
they’re loved. My mother had a great line: ‘I love you, I don’t like you like that’.So when we got in trouble, we never thought ‘but you don’t love me’. And she
used to say: ‘no, I love you, but you’re in trouble right now, because I don’t likewhat you just did’.
Did becoming a father change you?
Sure. A man gets better peripheral vision when he becomes a father, because
everywhere I go now, I'm here and I’ve got my wife and my two kids in my
pocket. So everything I do is a representation back to them. The way I take
care of myself, the way we take care, we stay out of trouble, to my own self
survive, I'm the king of the household, I'm the dad, I'm the father.
Are you a strict father?
Strict disciplined. We have fun, but there have to be clear rules and we stick to them. My wife and I are on the same page. We don’t play good cop bad cop.
We’re on the same page, we’re very bottom line as to how we parent, we’re
very clear. The kids know it’s clear so we’re in sync. I wouldn't say strict but disciplined. Rules, you’ve got to follow them, if you don’t follow them, there are
consequences.
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